it all comes to an end

this was already an issue happened in the end of Jan on the nx day when i got home...and i should say it just got into the end about 3 weeks ago...

my mind comes clear and i m real fine.... for me ... there should be nth to lose

and here comes the end of this blog

A little goal b4 I come home

hey ... i'll be going home v. soon....since coming back from my trip i've been busy packing up....now's in the finalizing stage....

MY GOAL: to finish diaries abt life in here b4 i leave...though this is difficult coz i was too lazy b4 and now there's just too much to write abt...lots of cookings that i've taken photos but hvn't posted them up yet...so wait and see lor~

明天會更好?

新的一年一開始就事事都很不順啊!

圍繞著自己發生的事都不太好．．．失望到失控到強烈預感到即將發生的xx; 家裏又有令人憂心的事發生；連電腦都出現了怪毛病．．．未到狗年就犯太歲了嗎？

＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠

李慧慧呀李慧慧．．．以上的想法就太負面了啦．．．剛想到一個新的new yr's plan．．．凡一開始悲觀就必須要立刻扭轉自己的思想．．．化灰色為正能量！！！

熟悉的人都大概知道我很難實行以上的計劃．．．但我自覺有這概念比停留在一直消沉的階段已進步許多了吧．．．

當然我仍會希望事情會有轉機，但真的無可挽救的話總得叫自己堅強些～
家裏有人須要支持的時候自己就更加要堅強～

這樣．．．明天應該會更好了吧！

NEW YEAR'S PLAN

it's already 2006 now.

right, not a call again but i'm alrite, at least i m not miserable any more past the new yr.

today just feel terrible after having a chat with my sister, feel terribly shame on myself. decided to work it out as one of my new yr's plans.

i thought i was alrite but something triggered me and i gone mad in the end. lead to a thought abt the value of this relationship, extraordinarily calm but hasn't come into any conclusion yet, frustrated though.

OK..here we go my new yr's plan:

• most important to love my mother by every means, CANNOT treat her impolitely, MUST be patient to her and support her always.
• to be independent, not in a way to escape from mom's control but to show her that i m already grown up and she need not worry about me.
• to be independent, in the relationship, if there is still one. stop being miserable over some stupid reactions that received. accept the fact and look ahead. to love myself more so as to reduce the pressure and balance thing out. should always find ways to make myself happy in a relationship.
• work hard, save money, financial plan
• learn how to cook from my mom, cook without a recipe, have the recipe already remembered by heart during cooking
• enjoy life and spend time happier. spice up every week by dinning out and meeting friends at least once or prepare a nice dinner for myself or family during weekends..... though i know i can never be those type of person, but dream to be flirty is quite nice......
• this is real difficult...but wish i can be tidier like in such a way that my room is always ready to welcome guests
• ......(that's all i can think of by now)

on boxing day

he called at night.

on christmas day

my phone didnt rang even for once....got 2 responses for my icq messages left yesterday

yes...nth fr. him...again...shouldn't be dissapointted as this is already expected, should i?

what the hell m i wishing for, huh?

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

it's been more than a month since last time i wrote sth here... yes.. i am really lazy!!

i've been back from home for two weeks now... and i totally collapsed and jumped out of my diet plan already...i'm now back to be an uncontrollable eating bixxh now....I M UNCONTROLLABLE!!!

it's christmas again and i m so lonely... thus just eat eat and eat .... none can make me feel occupied other than food...JUNK FOOD.... i hvn't been cooking proper meal for so long and yesterday i suddenly went for the extreme...... i prepared dinner for myself and my housemate and cooked FRIED INSTANT NOODLES!!!!!!!!! CAN U IMAGINE HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS TO MAKE IT NOT STICK ONTO THE WOK???? yes...i put lots of oil...and the sausages emits oil themselves.... and the instant noodles r oily as well.... but i can't help... i won't care what i m eating while i m depressed...and i dun care how much i m eating as well....

and today i went to the town centre to hv lunch... just dun wanna stay at home on the christmas eve... then went to eat McDonald's....then later drank Burger King's choc. milkshake and bought some choc. doughnuts and a bar of dark choc. as well to prepare for making choc. pudding tonight....later i'll hv my dinner which is tons of chips and grill drumsticks....and wine as well....

btw.. i hvn't been completely drunk before as i can remember....i wonder how much i need to drink until i got drunk ....seems that i m quite a gd drinker huh?! ... or maybe i just never did drank too much!!! i wonder how will i behave after i m drunk?!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUYS!!! I M LONELY!!!!! merry merry christmassss....lonely lonely christmassss~~

tell me if anyone hv been missing me...dun say miss...just ever think abt me this christmas...com'on...there must be someone .....

Someone's probably enjoys alot on his chrismas, partying with his friends and his most loved family....and just let me gone mouldy here.....u know what...the loneliness is even more lonely while u r in a relationship but u still feel lonely...do u get what i mean?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

(well...i'm just moaning ....)

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!